It is with the greatest sadness that I have to tell you that Harvey fell asleep for the last and longest time on 18th January 2019 with his face in a plate of pate.
He lived to the ripe old age of 14 1/2 and battled on, attempting norties, for as long as his hairy legs would carry him.
He was a legend in his own lifetime and my first doggy love.
My heart is broken and I will miss him forever.

To quote Britney, Oops, I did it again!
I just had to sample the delights within the pan, though unfortunately for me it was full of water and I created a huge puddle on the kitchen floor.  My Mum was not best pleased and suggested I go for a stroll round the garden, though I didn't get the telling off I would normally expect, perhaps because my ear has been sore this week and she is feeling sorry for me.  
I did manage to lick up some of the water before I was put out and it tasted of mashed sweet potato . . . ooh, 'twas YUM!

I do apologise for being away so long.  I have been a very busy dog.
As you know, I like to do at least one little norty every day but at my age that takes a little more of my energy and I don't always have time between naps to write about them.

Anyway, I'm back now.  

Can you smell coffee and walnut cake mixture?
Ever since I helped with the washing up yesterday, the smell of coffee and walnut cake has lingered.  Wish I could find the source; there might be more to eat.  Ooh,'twas YUM!   

Hello everyone.
I'm sorry it's been a while, but old age is creeping up a little and I've been a very busy dog.  
As you know, I make it my aim to squeeze a little norty into each and every day, but I don't always have the time to document what I've done, and many of them are routine norties anyway.  

Today I've done something of which I'm very proud, but which was not very well received by My Mum.
As you know, I am very keen to get into a hen house at every available opportunity.  A hen house contains many really scrummy things:  there's chicken poop, there's chicken feed (very dry, but very tasty), there's chicken water and there are left over chicken treats.  Today My Mum shut the hen house door, because she knew I would make my way straight in there to pinch the broccoli stalk, but as she was cleaning out the nest boxes, she left the top door open, and just shut the pop door so that I couldn't get into the run. However, I am a very capable hound;  I use stealth and cunning like any respectable dog, and when that fails, I use brute force.  So I squeezed myself through the little top door and barged at and thumped the pop door until it fell off it's runners.  My Mum caught sight of me and grabbed my leg, but she's too kind and didn't want to hurt me so she didn't pull me back, and so I turned my deaf ears to the cries of 'leave', grabbed the broccoli and left.

Ooh, 'twas YUM!  

Today I am in her biggest, baddest books!
This time I may have gone just a bit too far as I am pretty much being ignored and I haven't had any dinner.

This afternoon, My Mum came home with some shopping, and whilst she popped upstairs with some of it and nipped to the loo, I decided to see what else she had brought home and took a bit of an inventory of what was left on the kitchen worktops.  There were some very boring tins, some vegetables which had been put a very long way back out of my reach and a bag of fruit granola that I just managed to get to by way of my stealth tactics.   Luckily My Mum was gone long enough for me to drag the bag onto the floor, rip into the packaging (I'm very good at packaging) and eat lots of granola.  Ooh, 'twas YUM and very healthy with oats and dried cranberries, blackcurrants and pumpkin seeds.  
It is a very satisfying breakfast, even when eaten at 5pm, but I would still like some dinner.

Today My Mum brought a bag home from work that contained a bottle of milk. She put it on the doorstep while opening the door, then let me into the garden so that I could help myself to chicken feed.  Sorry, I've got that wrong.  That is what I did not what I should have done.  I was swiftly brought out of the garden so I decided to investigate the contents of the carrier bag.  I could vaguely hear the words 'leave it' but was far too busy removing the lid from the bottle to take notice.  I've never really understood what they mean by those words anyway.  
Unfortunately My Mum became aware of the glugging and the slurping and she took the milk off me but not before I'd managed to drink quite a lot.  It was a little gritty from the path but really 'twas YUM!  

Oooh, I did a good one!

Last evening I was invited into the front room as usual.  Whilst My Mum was busy moving my bed (which I get a bit over-amorous with at that time of day) and shutting the stair gate so that I couldn't get upstairs, and Billy was comfortably reclining on the sofa, I spied a plastic box containing one rather yummy-looking, homemade, chocolate chip cookie.  Within the blink of an eye, the click-down lid that had thwarted My Mum a little earlier when she was offering a cookie to Sue was off and I was working my way through the cookie. Oooh, 'twas YUM!

Sadly, this counts as a norty, and therefore there was a consequence.  I was put back in the kitchen and had to stay there til bedtime.  Never mind, I got to eat the last cookie and they didn't!  

The other day I did what passes for a BIG norty!

I helped myself to some delicious roast chicken from the carcass whilst it was being served up. It had been roast with lemon and fresh garlic, and truly 'twas YUM!

I was told off, but My Mum was strangely subdued in her chastisement. Apparently, cooked chicken bones can be very dangerous for a dog and could pierce my insides and allsorts and she was worried that this might be what would see me off.  That was Sunday, this is Tuesday and I'm still here to tell the tale so methinks I've proved that it's perfectly acceptable for me to eat roast chicken wings.

Today, after my breakfast, I polished off a bag of Tesco Super Berry Granola with oat clusters and cranberries, blackcurrants and blueberries.  'Twas YUM and very healthy for a dog - all those lovely berries!  I'm feeling a little full, and My Mum, who was a bit cross, says I'm not allowed to go for a walk until the granola's a bit further through my system.  Oh well, it's the price I'll have to pay.  

The other day another norty slipped out.

I was taken by the urge to investigate a brand new tube of toothpaste - all in the name of consumer testing, you understand - but apparently this is a naughty thing to do and my research was not appreciated.

Still, what I discovered was that Colgate toothpaste comes in a box which is quite readily accessed by an intelligent hound such as my good self.  
Inside, there is a squidgy tube which can be pierced quite easily by doggy teeth.  I tested both ends of the tube to make extra 'specially sure.
The toothpaste itself was a disappointment;  I prefer a liver-flavoured paste but this was quite strong and minty.  I didn't eat any as I prefer my breath more doggy than fresh.

It wasn't YUM but it was a good deed done!  I might even send my findings to the manufacturer.  

Oops, I've just done another one!

My Mum made herself a cup of tea and then popped down the garden to give the hens their porridge.  She came back to a scene of devastation as I'd managed to pull over her cup.  There was a big puddle on the floor and tea was splashed everywhere.  Luckily, I'm a bit of a super-dog, otherwise I could have been scalded!   
My Mum adopted her cross face and set to clearing up, so I decided it best to get out of her way and asked to go in the garden.  
I didn't get much out of today's norty as the tea was too hot to drink.  
Still, not to worry.  There's always next time!

Today My Mum cleaned out the fridge.  That meant taking everything out.  I was very good while she did this and was rewarded with a little walk.  We got back from our walk and My Mum dashed off to Tesco to buy food for their dinner, but she'd forgotten to put everything back safely in the fridge.  She was greeted on her return by ripped packaging and was quickly able to deduce that I'd eaten a few slices of oak smoked ham, the remains of a packet of Ardennes pate with mushrooms and a little medium cheddar cheese.  All that was missing was some bread, but still, 'twas YUM!  

The other day I did a Christmassy norty.  My Dad had been to the pub (with me) and his guard was down (a bit).  We were in the kitchen where My Mum was preparing dinner, and My Dad had left the stairgate a tiny bit open.  Now, as you know, I can be very stealth, so I snuck into the living room and helped myself to a choccy from the box that My Dad had carelessly left open on the floor.  Not that it would have mattered if it had been shut:  I can easily find my way into a box!  I was quickly missed and My Mum was hot on my heels.  I only had time to snaffle one Thornton's chocolate!  I wish I could have had more cos 'twas YUM!  

Well this week I've excelled myself and I've managed to maintain a good level of naughtiness all week.  The pinnacle, however, came on Thursday when a very nice man came to fix the washing machine.  For some reason, my electrical expertise was not required and rifling through the man's box of tools was deemed inappropriate so I was sent to the front room with my mat. This was a bit of a treat because I'm usually only allowed in there during the evening.   My Mum was busy in her pre-Christmas preparations for Pre-School and was up and down the stairs, risking leaving the stair gate open whilst I slept soundly (or so she thought) on my mat.
Finally, the opportunity presented itself:  My Mum was talking to the nice man and discussing when he could come back with the new part the machine needed so I snuck upstairs for a mooch.  Now usually, the only place of any interest is the bin in the study.  Sometimes there is a wrapper in there and occasionally an apple core, but I struck gold.  In My Mum's bedroom (which, is very much out-of-bounds to me, but who was to know) I found some bags containing Christmas shopping and low and behold a box of Roses chocolates.  I worked swiftly and managed to nibble a hole in one corner just big enough to get to the chocolates.  Unfortunately, I was discovered whilst still munching through my first one which was quite chewy and I got a BIG telling off.  I was marched, unceremoniously, downstairs and put out in the garden. No matter, 'twas YUM!  

That evening, My Mum was regaling My Dad with the story and he too had a moment of carelessness.  He put the slice of bread he was about to butter, down on the side in the kitchen and I seized my opportunity and popped my head between their arms and stole my prize.  Another big telling off, some very rude words and again I was put out in the garden where I was able to eat my piece of bread in peace.  'Twas YUM!  

I did another one!
Yesterday morning, I got a big telling off from Tom when he discovered that I'd helped myself to the new pot of butter.  It had just a scraping or two removed so it was almost like a new page, and very, very tempting.
I was put out in the garden, where I found more norties to do, and then I spent much of the rest of the day licking my buttery whiskers.  YUM!  

Today when My Mum went down the garden to put the hens away, I pretended to be sound asleep.  When she came back I was busy.  I'd managed to get the cake tin out of the sink and I was licking it clean.  It's a new recipe, but I can safely say that Mary Berry's spicy orange sponge is YUM!  

You know how important it is to make house guests feel welcome, and to treat them as part of the family?  Well, I've decided not to exclude Billy's lovely girlfriend when it comes to little indiscretions and norties.  The other day I managed to pinch the bit of bread she was planning to have with her soup, and the night before last I discovered a half eaten bar of Dairy Milk in her bag.  It wasn't half eaten for long!  They wrestled some wrapper off me and Billy managed to shake a little chocolate from my mouth. I got a very big telling off and my Mum apologised for my behaviour.  I do feel terribly misunderstood, but never mind, 'twas YUM!

Today I managed to squeeze in a little norty before breakfast.  I snuck into the front room, and found the biscuit jar which had been left by the side of the sofa.  I tipped it over, got off the lid and took a chocolate chip digestive.  Ooh, 'twas YUM!  I also wanted a Bourbon biscuit, but My Mum found me, told me off and sent me back to the kitchen.  She told me I didn't deserve my breakfast but decided her life wouldn't be worth living if I spent the day hungry so she relented.  A minor victory, I think you'll agree.   

On Saturday, a lady delivered a very pretty flower arrangement.  She told My Mum that it would need topping up with water and it would be best to do that in the kitchen in case it leaked.  My Mum did just that, and then pushed the arrangement to the back of the worktop out of harm's way.  She went upstairs for just a little while, but became aware of an unusual noise.  Unfortunately for me, she discovered me munching through one of the roses.  She wasn't very pleased and I got a telling off.  Never mind . . . 'twas YUM!

The other day I found something gorgeous on My Mum's garden chair.  It was pink and inviting and smelt a bit chemically, but apparently it was a toe separator and was not for me to eat.  Never mind 'twas rubbery!