Today when My Mum came back from shopping she found me lying on her dog-walking coat.  I think I did a little norty by dragging it onto the floor but never mind, 'twas COMFY! 

I've also just ripped up a plastic bag and thrown a notepad on the floor. It is important to keep busy! 

I love a stick, me.
A few months ago, a very kind man gave My Mum a bundle of long straight sticks for her to use in the garden.  Recently, I discovered the bundle stacked up by the bins and I've been helping myself to a chewing stick whenever I can.  I'm not supposed to have them, so I have to be a bit 'stealth' about pinching them, but they are lovely to chew.  YUM! 

I am, by nature, a very helpful hound, but my willingness is often not appreciated.  Last night I tried very hard to help My Mum make fish pie, but she kept telling me not to put my feet on the worktop.  She did promise me some poaching water and fish skins with my dinner, and I know I should have been happy with that, but I'm afraid I was driven to do something I know she thinks is a little norty.  When she left the kitchen I helped myself to the wooden spoon she had been using and gave it a very thorough washing.   I didn't eat the spoon like I sometimes do and I got it very clean but still I got a bit of a telling off and My Mum said she felt like bopping me on the nose with the spoon.  There's no justice, but never mind, 'twas YUM! 

Ooops, I've done another norty!
We were walking down the field and the snow was really thick, making it very difficult for My Mum to walk fast.  I got a whiff of something they think is disgusting but I think is yum, so I popped through the barbed wire fence into the woods to seek it out.  My Mum shouted at me to leave it and she called me in her excited voice, promising me sausages if I came, but I chose to ignore her and sought out the 'sguzzies.  You see, I had the upper paw, because My Mum couldn't get through the fence and she had to walk all the way down the field to the gate. 
A bit later we met a very friendly lady with two lovely, friendly goldies, and My Mum had to apologise for shouting.  My Mum says that I embarrass her, but still, 'twas YUM! 

You may notice that I haven't been here for a few days.  That is because I've been really quite good.  Not perfect, obviously, but not too bad either.  My Mum is still dining out on some of my older stories, so she's quite happy.

She did get a bit cross with me earlier:  I ate some 'sguzzies on my walk, and as it was so cold and snowing she said 'That's it! We're going home!'
Still. 'Twas YUM! 

I went to school yesterday.  I love school.
Unfortunately I got the urge to be a little bit norty and My Mum got quite cross.  She kept muttering about my behaviour and was heard to say that there were not enough bad words in the whole wide world to describe me.  How rude! 

I love it when we have the gun - it makes me very excited - so every time it went off and I was asked to get a dummy, I went dashing off and collected it, but there was just so much rabbit poo to eat that I couldn't resist, so each time I took a bit of a diversion and refused to bring the dummy back to My Mum.  I don't see why this is a problem, they know I can do it if I want to, so why do they get frustrated when I don't?  Even lovely Mike, my trainer, called me something a little bit fruity!  
Still, never mind.  The rabbit poo was YUM! 

I do like to do just a little norty after my dinner. 
Today My Mum left me to have my dinner and went up to do some work, so after I finished eating I helped myself to a plastic tub from the sink.  It used to have mashed potato in it but it did spill an awful lot of water on the floor and I got a telling off.  
Never mind.  'Twas YUM!