Today My Mum brought a bag home from work that contained a bottle of milk. She put it on the doorstep while opening the door, then let me into the garden so that I could help myself to chicken feed.  Sorry, I've got that wrong.  That is what I did not what I should have done.  I was swiftly brought out of the garden so I decided to investigate the contents of the carrier bag.  I could vaguely hear the words 'leave it' but was far too busy removing the lid from the bottle to take notice.  I've never really understood what they mean by those words anyway.  
Unfortunately My Mum became aware of the glugging and the slurping and she took the milk off me but not before I'd managed to drink quite a lot.  It was a little gritty from the path but really 'twas YUM!  

Oooh, I did a good one!

Last evening I was invited into the front room as usual.  Whilst My Mum was busy moving my bed (which I get a bit over-amorous with at that time of day) and shutting the stair gate so that I couldn't get upstairs, and Billy was comfortably reclining on the sofa, I spied a plastic box containing one rather yummy-looking, homemade, chocolate chip cookie.  Within the blink of an eye, the click-down lid that had thwarted My Mum a little earlier when she was offering a cookie to Sue was off and I was working my way through the cookie. Oooh, 'twas YUM!

Sadly, this counts as a norty, and therefore there was a consequence.  I was put back in the kitchen and had to stay there til bedtime.  Never mind, I got to eat the last cookie and they didn't!  

The other day I did what passes for a BIG norty!

I helped myself to some delicious roast chicken from the carcass whilst it was being served up. It had been roast with lemon and fresh garlic, and truly 'twas YUM!

I was told off, but My Mum was strangely subdued in her chastisement. Apparently, cooked chicken bones can be very dangerous for a dog and could pierce my insides and allsorts and she was worried that this might be what would see me off.  That was Sunday, this is Tuesday and I'm still here to tell the tale so methinks I've proved that it's perfectly acceptable for me to eat roast chicken wings.

Today, after my breakfast, I polished off a bag of Tesco Super Berry Granola with oat clusters and cranberries, blackcurrants and blueberries.  'Twas YUM and very healthy for a dog - all those lovely berries!  I'm feeling a little full, and My Mum, who was a bit cross, says I'm not allowed to go for a walk until the granola's a bit further through my system.  Oh well, it's the price I'll have to pay.  

The other day another norty slipped out.

I was taken by the urge to investigate a brand new tube of toothpaste - all in the name of consumer testing, you understand - but apparently this is a naughty thing to do and my research was not appreciated.

Still, what I discovered was that Colgate toothpaste comes in a box which is quite readily accessed by an intelligent hound such as my good self.  
Inside, there is a squidgy tube which can be pierced quite easily by doggy teeth.  I tested both ends of the tube to make extra 'specially sure.
The toothpaste itself was a disappointment;  I prefer a liver-flavoured paste but this was quite strong and minty.  I didn't eat any as I prefer my breath more doggy than fresh.

It wasn't YUM but it was a good deed done!  I might even send my findings to the manufacturer.  

Oops, I've just done another one!

My Mum made herself a cup of tea and then popped down the garden to give the hens their porridge.  She came back to a scene of devastation as I'd managed to pull over her cup.  There was a big puddle on the floor and tea was splashed everywhere.  Luckily, I'm a bit of a super-dog, otherwise I could have been scalded!   
My Mum adopted her cross face and set to clearing up, so I decided it best to get out of her way and asked to go in the garden.  
I didn't get much out of today's norty as the tea was too hot to drink.  
Still, not to worry.  There's always next time!

Today My Mum cleaned out the fridge.  That meant taking everything out.  I was very good while she did this and was rewarded with a little walk.  We got back from our walk and My Mum dashed off to Tesco to buy food for their dinner, but she'd forgotten to put everything back safely in the fridge.  She was greeted on her return by ripped packaging and was quickly able to deduce that I'd eaten a few slices of oak smoked ham, the remains of a packet of Ardennes pate with mushrooms and a little medium cheddar cheese.  All that was missing was some bread, but still, 'twas YUM!