I am, by nature, a very helpful hound, but my willingness is often not appreciated.  Last night I tried very hard to help My Mum make fish pie, but she kept telling me not to put my feet on the worktop.  She did promise me some poaching water and fish skins with my dinner, and I know I should have been happy with that, but I'm afraid I was driven to do something I know she thinks is a little norty.  When she left the kitchen I helped myself to the wooden spoon she had been using and gave it a very thorough washing.   I didn't eat the spoon like I sometimes do and I got it very clean but still I got a bit of a telling off and My Mum said she felt like bopping me on the nose with the spoon.  There's no justice, but never mind, 'twas YUM! 

Ooops, I've done another norty!
We were walking down the field and the snow was really thick, making it very difficult for My Mum to walk fast.  I got a whiff of something they think is disgusting but I think is yum, so I popped through the barbed wire fence into the woods to seek it out.  My Mum shouted at me to leave it and she called me in her excited voice, promising me sausages if I came, but I chose to ignore her and sought out the 'sguzzies.  You see, I had the upper paw, because My Mum couldn't get through the fence and she had to walk all the way down the field to the gate. 
A bit later we met a very friendly lady with two lovely, friendly goldies, and My Mum had to apologise for shouting.  My Mum says that I embarrass her, but still, 'twas YUM! 

You may notice that I haven't been here for a few days.  That is because I've been really quite good.  Not perfect, obviously, but not too bad either.  My Mum is still dining out on some of my older stories, so she's quite happy.

She did get a bit cross with me earlier:  I ate some 'sguzzies on my walk, and as it was so cold and snowing she said 'That's it! We're going home!'
Still. 'Twas YUM! 

I went to school yesterday.  I love school.
Unfortunately I got the urge to be a little bit norty and My Mum got quite cross.  She kept muttering about my behaviour and was heard to say that there were not enough bad words in the whole wide world to describe me.  How rude! 

I love it when we have the gun - it makes me very excited - so every time it went off and I was asked to get a dummy, I went dashing off and collected it, but there was just so much rabbit poo to eat that I couldn't resist, so each time I took a bit of a diversion and refused to bring the dummy back to My Mum.  I don't see why this is a problem, they know I can do it if I want to, so why do they get frustrated when I don't?  Even lovely Mike, my trainer, called me something a little bit fruity!  
Still, never mind.  The rabbit poo was YUM! 

I do like to do just a little norty after my dinner. 
Today My Mum left me to have my dinner and went up to do some work, so after I finished eating I helped myself to a plastic tub from the sink.  It used to have mashed potato in it but it did spill an awful lot of water on the floor and I got a telling off.  
Never mind.  'Twas YUM! 

Oh dear, I think that bath may be on!
The ink was barely dry on my last post when I got an irresistible urge to do a norty.
My Mum made the chickens some porridge, and when she popped out of the kitchen for a nano-second, I grabbed the bag of oats off the side.  I got a bit of a telling off and she put me outside, so I scratched at the door to come back in.  I didn't get to eat many oats, unfortunately, because she was too quick but still . . .  'twas YUM!

Apparently, I have done some norties today! 
Not big ones, I hasten to add.
Sitting on the table on the patio is apparently a norty - I don't see why!  I get a good view of everything from here and I feel like king of the castle.  Anyway, My Mum told me to get down, so I thought I should get my own back.  Instead of guarding and caring for the chickens which I have to do since the fox came to visit, I decided to square up to them and nudge them to see if I could get them to play.  Mrs Doyle just stretched her neck at me and My Mum shouted. 
Oops, another norty!

We went for a lovely muddy walk, but I was not in the mood to listen or do training so I didn't bring my ball back; I ate rabbit poo instead.  'Twas YUM! 
Then I found some 'sgusting to eat and My Mum shouted.  She says it's a norty if I ignore her when she says 'leave!', but 'twas YUM!
She's mumbling about a bath.  Oops, I may have pushed her too far! 

Actually, today I've been a really good dog and I've hardly eaten a morsel, apart from my two square meals and some chicken poo.

Yesterday, however, I did do a norty.
My Mum had moved the kitchen steps across the kitchen and when she went upstairs to check whether Billy really had left all his pants at home, I hopped up the steps and onto the worktop where I discovered the egg skelter thingy.  Just too tempting!  I was discovered munching my way through the last of the four or five eggs that had been resting there. 
I got a big telling off, but never mind!  'Twas YUM!


Ooh, and while I'm here, I did another little norty the day before. 
I managed to get into the box of sunflower hearts that My Mum gives to the chickens. 
I ate quite a lot before I got a bit of a telling off.  Never mind!  'Twas YUM! (And full of Omega 3 which will make me a very smart and healthy hound).